I cannot believe that it has been 12 weeks since I last posted… 12 weeks since baby Milo was born. 12 weeks of maternity leave. And 12 weeks since I cast on for this sweater.
I was working on the colorwork chart for this sweater during the last days of my pregnancy, something to keep me occupied while I restlessly waited for baby’s arrival. After the birth, which didn’t go at all as planned, I found comfort in casting on for this project – – my fingers ticking away, in a manner most familiar, while I navigated the unfamiliar and sometimes stormy experience of adjusting to motherhood. And even though I grieved over the birth experience, I was so grateful for modern medicine and so grateful that baby and I were well. Even though I grieved over the birth experience, I realized that I had so much to be grateful for and this sweater became my gratitude project, with each stitch reminding me of the goodness, beauty, and love in my life.
The fit of this sweater is a bit off from what I had intended. I knat this according to my pre-pregnancy measurements but my body is different now. I gained 45 pounds during my pregnancy (arguably, a bit more than is recommended) and since welcoming my large baby boy, my shape and size are different. I’ve actually read that breastfeeding hormones encourage a woman’s body to increase her fat reserves to ensure that baby may receive plenty of nutritious milk. As a result, this sweater is tight across my belly and bust but fortunately is stretchy enough to accommodate my form.
The yarn is Knit Picks Capretta (in cream) and Chroma (in Fossil) and I do intend to write up the pattern, though I cannot speak to when that might happen – – as my capacity for writing patterns revolves around baby’s naptimes, during which I also dash to complete other projects (such as laundry).
I return to work tomorrow, after 12 weeks of maternity leave. While I am excited to resume some of my ‘old life’ of talking with colleagues and the projects of my Day Job, I know that it will be hard for me to leave my baby at day care. I hope that he has fun with his new baby friends and I hope that our time together becomes even more special.